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Royal Media in no way advocates criminal activities. If you should choose to partake in illegal activities though, at least be smart when you do. After all, is there really a reason to break the law if you're just gonna get caught. Evidently, some people think would say there is.

For example, let's consider the case of Steven, a student living in a university residence hall, and Eric, a teenager enrolled in a troubled youth summer program residing in the same hall. Early one Sunday morning (approx 7:30), Steven was recovering in his bed from an eventful Saturday night on the town. In the condition Stevie was in from his Saturday night adventures, he had forgotten to lock his door before settling in to rest. Unbeknownst to Steve this would be the beginning of a wild Sunday morning.

Eric was having a restless night and decided to go for a stroll around the hall. His journey took him to the second floor where he stumbled upon room 227. Something about this room intrigued Eric. So much so that he decided to turn the handle. Seeing that the door was unlocked he decided to take a peek inside. What he found was a sleeping Steven completely oblivious to his surroundings. Eric decided to take a look through Steven's belongings. He then thoroughly searched the desk area. Unable to find what he was looking for he decided to look around the rest of the room. But first he decided to see just how aware Steven was....

Steven was engaged in an invigorating dream when he felt a slight tug at the bed covers. Steven turned over and saw nothing. He was sure he had felt something though so he sat up in the bed. When he did he saw a shadow on the ceiling formed from the lights in the hall peering though his now partially opened door. Steven immediately snapped into action. He got up and moved closer to his open door. When he got next to the door, suddenly Eric stepped to the door wearing his camp t-shirt. Eric was taken aback by the sight of Steven standing in front of the door. With a look of disdain, Steven asked,"Can I help you?" After a moment of hesitation and while fumbling with a watch that was noticibly to big for him, Eric replied,"I was wondering where the campus church is located." Steven realizing that he really had nothing to go on at this point gave Eric slipshod directions. Eric thanked him and turned away from the door. Steven immediately inspected his room for missing items. Everything seemed to be in place except his wallet. He quickly located it underneath a t-shirt on his spare bed. He thought about just letting Eric go, but then he decided that maybe Eric would do the same thing to other hall residents. So after putting on some clothes Steven went looking around the building for Eric. Just as Steven went to lock his door, he realized that his keys were missing!!!

Steve knew that Eric would most likely try to use his keys at some time to enter his room after he was gone and "try to get directions to the church." He immediately ran to the stairwell at the end of the hall. He heard footsteps above him and the footsteps seemed to stop when the door shut behind him. Realizing that this was probably Eric, he decided to circle around and come up the other stairwell. He found Eric walking up the hall close to his room. Still he had nothing on Eric though so he attempted to rattle the cages a bit. "Did you find the church okay?" asked Steven. "Yeah," replied Eric. Steve knew he was lying because it was all of 15 minutes since their previous encounter. Steve continued,"Well, do you know where my keys are?" "No!" Eric replied. "Are you sure?" asked Steve. "100 percent positive!" finished Eric. "Okay," Steve said.

Steve returned to his room and decided at this point he would never get his keys unless he could search Eric's room. Despite his dislike for police he called the campus police. An officer arrived and took Steve's description of the events. Steve while peering nosily at a document on the hall's front desk saw that all the residents of the camp Eric was in were staying on the 4th floor. He suggested to the officer that they go up and look for Eric. Upon reaching the 4th floor the officer spoke to the camp counselors and after Steven assured them that he could positively identify the thief. The counselors gathered all the kids in a room on the end of the hall and offered them a chance to confess. None stepped forward and Steve entered the room and pointed Eric out.

Eric consented to a search of his room and was questioned as to why he was on the 2nd floor. (Evidently none of the campers were supposed to leave the 4th floor) In Eric's desk, the officer found another camper's wallet and keys. In the medicine cabinet they found, Eric's money clip stuffed with cash. "A huge wad for a guy who barely has sheets on his bed," Steve thought. The officer continued his search and began looking through Eric's closet. Upon reaching the bottom drawer, the officer let out a low whistle. He had found Eric's stash. He showed Steve a ring of keys which he identified as his own. He then pulled out a T-shirt belonging to another camper and the watch. Steve took his keys and left thinking the counselors would discipline Eric because he didn't press charges. Steve went downstairs and the officer informed him that the counselors and Eric thought he was sleepwalking. Steve let out a wry smile, thanked the officer, and went back to his room.

Morals of the story: Don't wear your camp t-shirt when you go to rob people and lock your door!!!

-Your boy